I don’t know if this has been talked about or not. After being different sizes, I’ve noticed that when I was a smaller fat, I was able to attract men who actually wanted to date me and be seen with me. Now, I still never got a lot of dates, but guys would at least acknowledge that I was a “woman”. Now that I am a larger fat, I am completely ignored by men. They won’t even look at me. I actually feel like I am a man instead of a woman. I don’t get it. I am the same person as I was before. Why does weight dictate the way men interact with me? I’ve also noticed that if you are a PoC and a larger fat, you are out of luck. In my experience, it seems like if I was white and a larger fat, it would be easier for me to get into a relationship. It seems to be more accepted to be a larger fat white woman than a PoC who is a larger fat. I don’t want to offend anyone, so I apologize if I said anything offensive. I’m just frustrated as hell because I am gonna be a 30 year old soon. I have tried everything to be seen and visible and nothing works. I am starting to believe my love life is cursed because I cannot attract a man period. I really don’t know what to do, it just feels better to get this off my chest.
Granted - it sucks to be unwanted/undesirable, but:
I have tried everything to be seen and visible and nothing works.
Really? You’ve tried everything? You said yourself that when you were smaller you were able to attract men, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say you haven’t tried EVERYTHING.
You can only control your own feelings towards your body. If you’re happy with your body that is fantastic and I commend you. However, you don’t have a right to other peoples’ sexual attraction - they are free to be attracted (or not attracted) to anyone they choose.
It sounds like you already know what the answer is when you decide your own body positivity doesn’t outweigh the lack of positivity from third parties.